“Es ist schwer, die richtigen Worte zu finden” (It is hard to find the right words) is an artist book about grief. It investigates written compassion in condolence cards – an embedded aspect of the grieving process in countries such as Germany. Between a lack for words, repetitive phrasing and a sudden uptake in correspondence, these writings are an act of social communication with intrinsic, yet non-obvious rules and contradictory dynamics. As an autistic, grieving is thus complicated further.

The book revisits a collection of condolence cards around the death of a sibling, on which it bases two central questions: What are the words used to communicate compassionate grief? How are these writings packaged visually? 91 transcripts are broken down into their structural elements and re-arranged accordingly, distilled to dominant words and phrases – fragments big enough to infer a message yet fleeting as if skimmed over. This dissection is paired with an array of card covers and envelopes; the material reminiscent of bureaucracy, its dissection seeking order and a corresponding sense of comprehension.

Returning from an intellectual exercise to the deeply emotional subject at hand, the book is closed by a 92nd letter: a late addition, written during the making of the book, addressed to a younger self receiving the mail presented before. Directly acknowledging the present as a moment of complex struggles, giving advice as well as addressing the emotional state of grieving, this epilogue reconciles with oneself: inexperienced with the responsibilities of grief, autistic or not.